Here Is a List of 25 Things My Cat Has Never Seen:

1.     a trombone

2.     His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama

3.     a human skull

4.     the Reichstag

5.     Malibu Barbie

6.     identical twins

7.     the final scene of Casablanca

8.     a butterfly knife

9.     Jim Morrison’s grave

10.  a first edition of Ulysses

11.   sodium pentothal

12.  hardcore pornography (homosexual)

13.  hardcore pornography (heterosexual)

14.  the Chinese symbol for ‘strong’

15.  the ravages of war

16.  an original Van Gogh

17.  the M25

18.  powder cocaine

19.  a 1970 Pontiac Firebird

20.  stress-induced hives

21.  the site of the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy

22.  a black woman

23.  J’adore by Dior

24.  the changing of the guard

25.  my father’s first wife.

——-

Silly cat,

you know nothing of this world.